Posts Tagged ‘communication’

By R.C. Seely

WITH SO MUCH COMMUNICATION being online and not in person, misunderstanding have become common. This is especially true with online dating when people feel particularly vulnerable. It has gotten better with the advent of emojis–digital symbols that are representative analogues of the human face–but the problems haven’t gone away entirely.

Why is this? Well, mostly it has to do with those who didn’t grow up with the internet still adapting to it. Many of us older millennials–in our mid to late thirties–haven’t fully altered to the digital communication exchanges and treat them as a regular exchange. Even talking on the phone has a lesser chance for misunderstanding since a verbal tone is present.

Another factor is that we have increased interaction with others who are basically strangers, from all over the world. Using a platform with less cues to gather information about the intention of the other person, we are more on guard than in a physically present discussion. Body language comes into play to tell us what is on the others mind, so we can react.

So, what’s the solution? Trust everyone online? No, definitely not. There are plenty of sexual predators and con artists on the internet, so protecting yourself is important, just maybe learn to be better at online interaction.

Misunderstandings are generally on both sides so consider how you may have contributed to it. Were you to eager to make a judgement on the other person? Did you get too personal too soon in the discussion? If you wouldn’t share the information about yourself on a first date, you probably shouldn’t in your first online discourse either. Learn to read online cues and don’t get frustrated, it gets easier. As in real life, it could also be the timing.

Online dating sites have made measures to assist you in staying safe. After all, in the information age a bad review or rating has more clout than word of mouth. It teaches more consumers a lot faster, so keeping visitors safe is a top priority. Look through their suggestions. Most of all remember what you’re there for, if you joined a dating site, treat it like such. It’s not a social site like Facebook, it’s for meeting people. Don’t get upset at others when they want to meet up.

I’m not suggesting blind trust but what author Stephen M. R. Covey (son of Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) calls “Smart Trust,” the concept a certain amount of trust is appropriate. If you start out with distrust for others that’s what you will get in return. So, give them the benefit of the doubt until they give you a valid reason not to trust them. In regard to online interaction, where you can simply “block” or “unfriend” anyone, this should definitely be put in practice.

A meme that I found is a fitting description of what dating has become:

So many good women have dealt with the wrong man and so many good men have dealt with the wrong woman that by the time you to finally meet, you‘re both afraid of each other.”

 

R.C. Seely is the founder of americanuslibertae.com and ALTV. He has also written books of pop culture the most recent Victims of White Male: How Victim Culture Victimizes Society is available at Amazon.